kau.

kau buta pancainderaku.

first time too many.

for the first time i felt this way.

for the first time i lose control.

for the first time i had inspiration.

for the first time i had hope.

for the first time the smile had worn out.

for the first time i cant ignore.

for the first time i fall hard.

for the first time i cant refuse.

for the first time i lose myself.

for the first time i dunno how to do it.

for the first time the ignorance had been ignored.

for the first time i cant conceal.

for the first time i cant think straight.

for the first time i couldnt care less.

for the first time i just dont know.

the word is.

exist.invisible.ignore.

worn out smile.

since yesterday i started wondering why i cant do it.
i have done it loads of time before.
i can do it throughout secondary school.
with no failure.
but for the first time in my life i failed.
i lose control of myself.
n i dunno why.
why now.

M.U.E.T.

time : 10.21 p.m
location : AC 125
mood : not so gay
listening to : the kooks - naive
am supposed to : study



M.U.E.T

Malaysia University English Exam

tomorrow i'm sitting 4 it.
dunno why we hav to sit 4 this muet thing.
after the ept i dont feel like taking any english exams.
but then i hav to take this muet.

the muet's tomorrow and i am here writing in my blog.
i can hear keyna, myza, anis n nell talking from here.
they're discussing abt the muet sample papers they've got.
they also have some muet books tht i didnt bother to take a look at.

n i'm still here.
i've got to admit it.
i don't like studying.
but then who does.
i hope i can gain more self-conciousness n study harder.
ahaha.



n one more thing.
the results for the streamlining has jst been pinned up.
i got in the applied arts and design course.
tho i asked for the architecture course.
i guess i didnt really hav a prob for the applied arts course.
i would love to major in interior design or perhaps industrial design mayb.
it's jst tht my parents wanted me to take archi.
better prospects i guess.
i wouldnt mind too.
jst too bad tht i didnt make it in archi.
n i jst cant make up my mind yet.
wether to appeal for the archi or jst stick to applied arts.
i guess i'll do some solat istikharah.
well lets destiny do its work.

go.

go on.



i don't care.



tht's why i am wht i am.



go on.



i hope i don't care.



tht's why i'm always me.



go on.



because i know.



tht's why i wished i don't care.



really, go on.



i'm used to it anyway.

sy rindu kamu.

time : 9.14 pm

location : next to hajar, AC 125, mahallah aisyah, cfsiium

mood : gay

listening to : hajar's singing

probably should be : studying arabic (mid term exam is two days away)





here i wanna post the song i wrote 4 my sygs probably a year ago.

it is called the besties song.

we are friends wherever we are
we'd still be one even though we are far
i wrote this song when u came into my mind
feels complete when you're by my side

to all my friends
would u like to know
how i feel about u all this time
u made my world go round n filled my heart with joy
and i could never wanna let u down

we had ups and downs in our time
we even fight because of our probs in life
but we stick together and we realize
we are apples in each others' eyes.

sy rindu kamu semua!

sgt2!

ana uhibbu antum shadid!



to lily, faz, far, pypa, adeal, faa, hzq,nzm n sume yg disayangi.

sy syg kamu.



termasuk rakan2ku di cfs juga.

ana uhibbu antum shadid aidan oke!

bwat pengetahuan syg2kuh

skarang sy sedang menceburkan diri dlm bidang guitar.

blaja sndr saje.

xnk main keyboard jek.

terima kasih kpd hadi a.k.a guru guitar sambilan yg mmberi dorongan.

wlupown tidak seberapa bagus tp aku sgt gembira.

dan ingin kukatakn sekali lg.

sy syg kamu semua oke.

slumber bummer.

when i was in class but my head isn't






when i just lay in bed hoping to get some sleep but could'nt






when i kept losing the track of time






when i walked so slowly between classes






when i always made up excuses to go out in public






when i thought the arabic classes are just not enough






when i felt tht time is running out






when i wished that i would bump into everyone i know






when i felt like wandering around for no reason






when i wished i can distract my mind into thinking of something else






when i tried to contain it but didn't manage to






when i can't forget every little dream i had






when i wished tht those dreams will come true






when i looked at every direction every few minutes






when i felt the stupidity is overwhelming






don't blame me.

kebosanan cuti sem.

time : 11.30
location : home, my bedroom
status : gay (as in happy, not tht gay)
state of mind : bored
currently listening to : Lenka


going online.
this is wht i normally do when i hav absolutely nothing to do at home.
i hav always wanted to hav something brilliant to say in my blog.
but unfortunately i always dont.
so be thnkful tht i still write something even tho it's just crap.

i went to alamanda just now to renew my L licence.
when i got there, the crowd in the post office was just too much.
i slipped in n took a number.
1386.

"it's currently 1254, great"


i walked in store by store.
alone.
i was searching for the phantom of the opera vcd.
but i couldnt find one.
n i'm not buying a dvd.
costs way too much.

bumped into one of my old friend, syieqa.
we chatted a lil bit.
then a few of my juniors said hi when i was busy walking around without destination.alone.
they r waiting 4 their spm results.
again, we chatted a lil bit.

after abt 2 hrs of undestined journey, i got myself a few tees, some famous amos biscuits n a book.
then i went bck to he post office n get my licence renewed.
n i walked to the bus stop n got a bus home.

end of journey 4 today.
n i'm back at home doing nothing.

everyday,every second.

time : 12.40 pm
location : home
state of mind : in the clouds
mood : fine


i am supposed to be studying rite now.
it's the final exam.
but wht i'm doing is sitting in front of the tv with a laptop on my lap.

my mind is full of thoughts of everything i hav been through.
everything is reocurring vividly across my mind.
non-stop.

the semester is coming to an end.
n i'm waiting for the short sem.
then, after a short sem of learning arabic, i will leave the pj campus n off to gombak.
n shall i say, the few last days have been great.















hope i shall see u again.
adios.